The Highs And Lows Of Age
![Picture](/uploads/9/6/3/2/963221/1311968094.png)
Listen up masses; this is what university does to you: The whole day at campus you will feel extremely drowsy, so that in 12 hours time you can’t wait to get into bed. But no, the minute your head hits the pillow (I’m starting to think this only happens to me on a daily basis) you’ll be wide awake for the rest of the night, and then the whole process starts over once you fall asleep. This is a very dangerous course for me, let me just tell you, which explains why most of my articles revolve around ideas that sound like I thought of them in my sleep. The truth is most of them were. Here’s another one of my silly-pushing-the-genius-envelope thoughts I had sometime this insomniatic week.
My friends say I’m hyperphrenic (a word we learnt in Medical Terminology that means I have excessive mental activity, which I think means that I’m like a psychotic person on a sugar high), and I can’t beg to differ considering I think myself to sleep. Yes, I’m that far gone. I was going to title this article, “Being A Kid Vs Teen Vs Adult”, but that’d be too obvious and I like to talk in circles. Seeing that I thought about this in the early parts of a Tuesday morning, forgive me for forgetting most of my points. But this should help you determine your perfect age:
Being A Kid
ADVANTAGES:
- You can eat tons of junk food and hardly gain weight, because all you’re good at is growing and pranking your neighbour
- School is way easier, and you go home really early. Preschool is like a vacation from home without your family. Do you see how awesome that is?!
- Kids always get their way; this either involves crying, clawing your dad’s leg or screaming your head off in the library
- No responsibility, and if you rob a bank the court will give you a warning and send your parents for psychiatric evaluation
- You can get out of trouble by being cute, or pretending your parents abuse you by putting fake marks on your body. Goodbye homework, hello hugs from teaching staff.
- No acne. No puberty. No hormones. Trust me, this is the best part.
- Kids don’t sweat. Which means they can get stranded on a desert island with their crush and still look awesome, except kids hardly have crushes. Which is a total waste of this point.
DISADVANTAGES:
- Unfortunately, a kid’s bedtime is between the hours of 8pm and 8:05pm (if they’re lucky)
- For some reason, vegetables tasted horrible at this age
- Sugar (like in cakes or coke) is only given in moderation. Sweets are only for the weekend… =(
- I don’t know why kids can’t control their bladders. What’s up with the whole peeing-in-your-bed-peeing-on-the-playground-slide-embarrassing-yourself-in-front-of-your-teacher phase?
- Some kids get grounded or physically scolded.
Teenagers
ADVANTAGES:
- I don’t think there are a lot of good things, but I’ll attempt. How about the fact that your spending money is increased as is your curfew?
- You start to develop feelings for another person. Okay wait, that complicates things so maybe that should be a disadvantage…
- Parties and hot guys, hello…
- You can spend as much time in your room (doing weird things) as you want, because the adults can’t understand you and the kids are scared of you.
- Oh yeah, you get to bully kids, muhahahahaha!
- Teenagers demand respect, because they are the future of the country, blah blah blah…
- You can stay up till late and are allowed to drink coffee. And you don’t have to eat your veggies. Bonus!
- Manipulating your parents just became a whole lot easier…
DISADVANTAGES:
- Uncontrollable hormones which leads to acne; if you’re a guy this means unexpected boners and us girls get PMS (which I think doesn’t exist, but to each his own). Plus, girls get strap problems in public.
- Puberty. Nuff’ said.
- You feel like nobody understands you because trust me loser, nobody understands you. And everybody confuses a teenager’s opinion as a rebellious surge of conversation. And then again, nobody understands you so nobody takes you seriously. Not even your friends.
- Uncontrollable hormones from puberty result in meaningless fights with the parentals, which ultimately means they’ll punish you by making you spend a dance class with your enemy or worse – going out in public with them. To the mall. Where everyone you know hangs. And then shouting across the shop what colour bra you want.
- All the other sucky things that come with being a teenager, like being self-conscious and having a sucky life.
- I’m adding this bullet point just because I think being a teenager sucks so much. And the school work and chores are loads more – and are harder.
Adult
ADVANTAGES:
- Getting to watch whatever movie you want, go wherever you want and ingest whatever illegal substance you have
- Being legal to drink, drive, drink while you drive, and other creepy stuff that goes on in a car
- You are independent – that means no more input from your crazy mother, unless she lives near you
- You are free to move away from your crazy mother
- Living on your own, making money and messing around with the opposite (but in this day and age the same) sex
- No more studying or pointless homework assignments
- Plus, you actually get paid to get up early and work your butt off
- And you can enter all the best competitions (like driving a Ferrari in Hawaii) that you couldn’t enter when were 18 and still had your milk teeth
- Hitting the best clubs and parties – without a curfew
DISADVANTAGES:
- Having to drive in traffic, while your teenage sibling gets to sleep in the backseat
- Way way way more responsibility, coupled with unexpected pregnancy, bills, dating complications, sexually transmitted infections, heart/lung diseases, chronic stress/insomnia and mid-life crisis
- You can’t eat that last piece of pizza. And you gain weight after one beer.
- This is where the marriage nightmare begins.
- Kids for some reason assume you’re very wise, just because you have the number 43 on your birthday cake
- Having kids, and not being allowed to desert them
Overall, I would say my ultimate age is between an adult and a teenager. Hmmm… how about the age where I’m young and can still lose weight, eat a lot and don’t have to study that much? Yip, 24 is the age for me. And I can’t wait to turn 24 and have nothing good happen to me.
Yeah, things just suck no matter how old you are.
My friends say I’m hyperphrenic (a word we learnt in Medical Terminology that means I have excessive mental activity, which I think means that I’m like a psychotic person on a sugar high), and I can’t beg to differ considering I think myself to sleep. Yes, I’m that far gone. I was going to title this article, “Being A Kid Vs Teen Vs Adult”, but that’d be too obvious and I like to talk in circles. Seeing that I thought about this in the early parts of a Tuesday morning, forgive me for forgetting most of my points. But this should help you determine your perfect age:
Being A Kid
ADVANTAGES:
- You can eat tons of junk food and hardly gain weight, because all you’re good at is growing and pranking your neighbour
- School is way easier, and you go home really early. Preschool is like a vacation from home without your family. Do you see how awesome that is?!
- Kids always get their way; this either involves crying, clawing your dad’s leg or screaming your head off in the library
- No responsibility, and if you rob a bank the court will give you a warning and send your parents for psychiatric evaluation
- You can get out of trouble by being cute, or pretending your parents abuse you by putting fake marks on your body. Goodbye homework, hello hugs from teaching staff.
- No acne. No puberty. No hormones. Trust me, this is the best part.
- Kids don’t sweat. Which means they can get stranded on a desert island with their crush and still look awesome, except kids hardly have crushes. Which is a total waste of this point.
DISADVANTAGES:
- Unfortunately, a kid’s bedtime is between the hours of 8pm and 8:05pm (if they’re lucky)
- For some reason, vegetables tasted horrible at this age
- Sugar (like in cakes or coke) is only given in moderation. Sweets are only for the weekend… =(
- I don’t know why kids can’t control their bladders. What’s up with the whole peeing-in-your-bed-peeing-on-the-playground-slide-embarrassing-yourself-in-front-of-your-teacher phase?
- Some kids get grounded or physically scolded.
Teenagers
ADVANTAGES:
- I don’t think there are a lot of good things, but I’ll attempt. How about the fact that your spending money is increased as is your curfew?
- You start to develop feelings for another person. Okay wait, that complicates things so maybe that should be a disadvantage…
- Parties and hot guys, hello…
- You can spend as much time in your room (doing weird things) as you want, because the adults can’t understand you and the kids are scared of you.
- Oh yeah, you get to bully kids, muhahahahaha!
- Teenagers demand respect, because they are the future of the country, blah blah blah…
- You can stay up till late and are allowed to drink coffee. And you don’t have to eat your veggies. Bonus!
- Manipulating your parents just became a whole lot easier…
DISADVANTAGES:
- Uncontrollable hormones which leads to acne; if you’re a guy this means unexpected boners and us girls get PMS (which I think doesn’t exist, but to each his own). Plus, girls get strap problems in public.
- Puberty. Nuff’ said.
- You feel like nobody understands you because trust me loser, nobody understands you. And everybody confuses a teenager’s opinion as a rebellious surge of conversation. And then again, nobody understands you so nobody takes you seriously. Not even your friends.
- Uncontrollable hormones from puberty result in meaningless fights with the parentals, which ultimately means they’ll punish you by making you spend a dance class with your enemy or worse – going out in public with them. To the mall. Where everyone you know hangs. And then shouting across the shop what colour bra you want.
- All the other sucky things that come with being a teenager, like being self-conscious and having a sucky life.
- I’m adding this bullet point just because I think being a teenager sucks so much. And the school work and chores are loads more – and are harder.
Adult
ADVANTAGES:
- Getting to watch whatever movie you want, go wherever you want and ingest whatever illegal substance you have
- Being legal to drink, drive, drink while you drive, and other creepy stuff that goes on in a car
- You are independent – that means no more input from your crazy mother, unless she lives near you
- You are free to move away from your crazy mother
- Living on your own, making money and messing around with the opposite (but in this day and age the same) sex
- No more studying or pointless homework assignments
- Plus, you actually get paid to get up early and work your butt off
- And you can enter all the best competitions (like driving a Ferrari in Hawaii) that you couldn’t enter when were 18 and still had your milk teeth
- Hitting the best clubs and parties – without a curfew
DISADVANTAGES:
- Having to drive in traffic, while your teenage sibling gets to sleep in the backseat
- Way way way more responsibility, coupled with unexpected pregnancy, bills, dating complications, sexually transmitted infections, heart/lung diseases, chronic stress/insomnia and mid-life crisis
- You can’t eat that last piece of pizza. And you gain weight after one beer.
- This is where the marriage nightmare begins.
- Kids for some reason assume you’re very wise, just because you have the number 43 on your birthday cake
- Having kids, and not being allowed to desert them
Overall, I would say my ultimate age is between an adult and a teenager. Hmmm… how about the age where I’m young and can still lose weight, eat a lot and don’t have to study that much? Yip, 24 is the age for me. And I can’t wait to turn 24 and have nothing good happen to me.
Yeah, things just suck no matter how old you are.