I Have Been Undressed By A Dead Guy And A Book
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No you perv, I wasn’t naked at the time. I merely used the word “undressed” as a metaphor for the fact that my personality and habits are now out there, in the open, naked for some author to write about. I was rereading one of my favourite books by Douglas Adams, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” when it struck me: this British dude was the best amateur philosopher the world would never know. If Douglas hadn’t been poor and drunk at first, and had actually gotten a PhD in Physics, we would probably not be in the giant mess we are now. He would probably have found a way to use jelly beans in diesel motor fuel. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that in his books, Mr Adams exposed the world in a humorous and scandalous way – and I am so ashamed that he even had me spot on.
One of the characters in the book, Ford Prefect, is an alien pretending to be a human on earth and he is terrible at catching onto sarcasm. Here’s a good quote from the novel to sum up one of humanities’ habits:
‘One of the things Ford prefect has always found hard to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It’s a nice day, or You’re very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you alright? At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If humans don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought their mouths probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.’
Damn, you caught me Douglas. And if you actually think about the theories of Frederik Nietzsche or Samuel Beckett from Absurd Theatre, a lot of what we do or say has no point or impact. Eg: We eat to prevent from dying of hunger and ceasing to exist. Then we say, ‘You should have used Parmesan’. Okay that I understand, because it would have made the food taste better. Then the crux of our condition is when a woman says, ‘The pie is very big’, or you say, ‘my mother cuts pizza into squares.’ Okay and the point of that was?
I should actually be the last one to criticize this human condition, because I talk a lot. And a lot of the things I say or what other people say is actually pretty meaningless. Yes, I think I do have Existentialist tendencies, and it’s very scary. But maybe we should all really consider what Douglas Adams wrote, especially since he’s dead now, and for some reason people only listen to a guy when he has the word ‘Late’ before his name.
Maybe we should spend less time talking and more time focusing on improving Quantum Theory, renewing energy sources and solving the high crime rate. Hold that thought, my TV program is about to start.
Oh well, can’t say I didn’t try.
One of the characters in the book, Ford Prefect, is an alien pretending to be a human on earth and he is terrible at catching onto sarcasm. Here’s a good quote from the novel to sum up one of humanities’ habits:
‘One of the things Ford prefect has always found hard to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It’s a nice day, or You’re very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you alright? At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If humans don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought their mouths probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.’
Damn, you caught me Douglas. And if you actually think about the theories of Frederik Nietzsche or Samuel Beckett from Absurd Theatre, a lot of what we do or say has no point or impact. Eg: We eat to prevent from dying of hunger and ceasing to exist. Then we say, ‘You should have used Parmesan’. Okay that I understand, because it would have made the food taste better. Then the crux of our condition is when a woman says, ‘The pie is very big’, or you say, ‘my mother cuts pizza into squares.’ Okay and the point of that was?
I should actually be the last one to criticize this human condition, because I talk a lot. And a lot of the things I say or what other people say is actually pretty meaningless. Yes, I think I do have Existentialist tendencies, and it’s very scary. But maybe we should all really consider what Douglas Adams wrote, especially since he’s dead now, and for some reason people only listen to a guy when he has the word ‘Late’ before his name.
Maybe we should spend less time talking and more time focusing on improving Quantum Theory, renewing energy sources and solving the high crime rate. Hold that thought, my TV program is about to start.
Oh well, can’t say I didn’t try.